Friday, September 11, 2009

(Un)civil actions ...

When did fashion shows lose all sense of civility? This question crossed my mind this morning in Bryant Park, when I noticed that most of the front row couldn’t be bothered to applaud as the models walked their finale carousel. This trend has been increasing in its frequency, and this morning it was shockingly obvious to me: Instead of polite applause, the majority of people were texting/checking email, stuffing programs into their bags, talking to their neighbors, or just plain looking bored. Here’s a newsflash: You don’t applaud only when the designer runs out for his or her bow; aren’t you also applauding the models for their work? Like any event, isn’t applause a courtesy to signal approval of the group effort? Oh, yeah, and thanks for the front-row seat? (To be fair, this behavior wasn’t exclusive to the front row and could be seen throughout the audience.)

My day finished with witnessing another questionable act, which started with an attendee who moved from her second-row seat to a first-row seat that wasn’t hers. At 30 minutes after the hour, as is the custom, the seats were “released,” which in fashion parlance means that those who possess a standing ticket are welcome to fill in the empty seats. The woman’s second-row seat was taken by a daily editor who hadn’t been shown much love by this particular designer – not surprising, as dailies are often given short shrift at the shows (apologies for the alliteration), while national mags bring layers upon layers of editors, all of whom are offered prime seats.

But when the real owner of the front-row seat unexpectedly appeared at the last minute, the woman who had moved wanted her second-row seat back. She was supported in her thinking by her co-workers in the nearby seats, all of whom descended upon the now-horrified daily editor with fury and indignation. I happened to be sitting next to this woman (and thus hope to eliminate any speculation that this was me), and having witnessed the entire episode, I told her to stay; the mover was forced to stand. If you decide your seat is inadequate and you take the chance to sit in someone else’s, then you risk losing your original seat if the release has indeed taken place. Don’t get me wrong: I have moved – did so this morning, in fact, to sit next to a friend. But I do this knowing it may backfire, so it’s rare that I move (also because, with few exceptions, my seat is typically more than satisfactory).

When combined with the earlier show’s lack of applause, however, I was left wondering: What has happened to simple etiquette? A fashion show used to be one of the most civilized environments you could enter, but no longer. To be sure, it’s still a far more glamorous way to earn a living than the vast majority of jobs out there – but lately, due to far too many incidents such as this, I’ve been thinking it isn’t as much fun as it used to be. Largely it’s exhaustive and infuriating, filled with pushing and shoving, ego and attitude, and hopefully you’re rewarded by seeing a beautiful show here and there, something fresh and forward that leaves you excited about witnessing that particular moment.

When I spied the offended group in the lobby after the show, still in a tizzy and soothing the mover as though she had been physically assaulted, I couldn’t help myself: As I passed by, I smiled and without a trace of snarkiness said, “Have a lovely evening.” I have never felt more civilized.

What’s your opinion of both episodes? Feel free to

weigh in …


4 comments:

  1. Civility in our culture is waning all too quickly for my taste. Gone are the days of simple "thank yous" after a job well done or in your case a round of applause. It's a sad state of affairs really. Everyone is just far too busy (or in this case important) and must move on to the next vital task...which in this instance probably included texting their BFF about how important they are because they are at the show.
    On a separate note, why is it that when you describe passing by the injuried parties and oh so civilly relaying "Have a lovely evening" that you left off the evil mad scientist laugh that exploded inside your head afterward!
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  2. OK, yeah, I probably did that. At this point it was like 20 shows ago, I can't remember. But that does sound like me. :) But seriously, there's a decided increase in bad behavior this season. I walked into one show yesterday, and the girl walking in right in front of me kept going closer and closer to my seat, and then plopped herself right down like she owned it! People have no shame anymore, and the sense of entitlement is not to be believed.
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  3. What a beautiful blog.

    I think it's a reflection of an impatient, solidly boring, unimaginative and selfish public that leads to these acts of incivility. They take far too much for granted.

    The worst I've seen? Showing up to find my seat, and the entire row of swag pilfered, torn up, missing, or tossed on the floor. The offenders? They had all moved down a row. ALL of them. There exists a real problem when the designers are young, hip, and fueled only by money. Put up a good website --you're a designer these days. It becomes less about form, history, and fashion that it is about "the scene." So, like everything at that reality TV show called LA Fashion Week, they invite all their "closest friends." And havoc ensues. It's ugly and stupid.
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  4. I couldn't agree more about an increasing lack of civility -- in all areas of life. As one of my friends says, "What has happened to the Thank You?"

    While I am often guilty of mad-texting and multi-tasking, there is absolutely no excuse for not applauding the models. There is a lot of work that goes into these shows and without them, there is no show.

    People easily hide behind their busy lifestyles, but once you forget the simple niceties, all is eventually lost.

    And yes, when you get up to grab a better seat, such is life when you lose your original one. It's a code.
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